You may not like it, but it's good for you.

Allah tests us in many ways.

Sometimes it's "easier" tests. And sometimes it's not.

For example, it's easy to give advice to people we don't know rather than your friends (who will be able to say something back). You also feel a little softer for your friends even if they're doing something unhealthy for their mind body or souls.

It's easier to like/love or hate someone. It's harder to forgive someone (once they hurt you).

Sound familiar? 

Well that's probably why Allah says in the Quran, "But you may dislike something which is good for you, and you may like something which is bad for you. GOD knows while you do not know [2:216]."

We like our bad friends.

We like to do what's fun.

It's easier to do wrong than right.

It's easier to get caught up in materialistic things.

But wait - there's an afterlife. A place where all judgment comes forth.

A place and time when there is no "wrongs" only "truths."

"Surely, falsehood is ever bound to vanish." [Quran17:81]"

Today as I was talking to a dear friend about dating, in terms of haram (forbidden) and halal (acceptable), dating is haram. Everything done with the other person (looking, holding hands, hanging out, etc) is haram outside the union of marriage.

Therefore, I told her how concerned I was for her and only wanted to save her from the hellfire.

I know some people may think I'm crazy to say that (as she even said to me how scary that sounded), I have the duty to say something. I'm afraid I haven't done enough.

But we will be asked.

People only like to hear what they want. People are afraid of reality. Reality is heaven and hell.

Reality is scary.

That's why Allah says in the Quran the heavens are laced with hardships while hell is laced with ease.

Now for some humor...

"You may dislike something which is good for you," (including eating your vegetables), breaking up with a dude, getting married in the first place, waking up early in the morning.

What a wonderful life.

Dear S,

I wish I could tell you about my distress. About how many hours I confide in my child and wonder what he's doing while I'm away.

I wish I could tell you that my parents are my shelter, and I must constantly ask them for help. They take me to my classes, support my education and take care of my baby when I'm away (and they're available).

Maybe I should remind you my education is a big goal in my life. You have completed your education so you would know how important it may be, and how hard it is to make those sacrifices along the way.

You may know I am a journalism student. That means I must attend historical events. That doesn't mean I go to every raging event and everything I can get my hands out, although I should. I try my best. I do most of my work from home.

You may know I leave my child at the care of my in-laws most of the time. Before I "leave him on the bed" I change his diaper, feed him and take care of him most of the time while I'm at home. You won't hear him squeal unless I'm in the kitchen attending to other business.

You may also know that I am American. This in no way limits my thinking abilities and does not impair my judgement call when it comes to doing the right thing. Sure I'm human and I may need reminders along the way. I have my husband for that. He is there to correct me. So are my family. But I have to listen to become better.

I am not perfect. I know I cannot do everything, surely not at once. Sometimes my homework will be more important than housework but that doesn't excuse me from not doing housework.

Sometimes I will want to get out. But I evaluate the situation first.

I don't get to go to my parents house very often but when I do, perhaps once in 1 1/2-2 weeks, I don't sit too long (usually 1-3 hours). That's why I save up my days and times during my vacations and stay for a few days.

I wish you would take the time to talk to me. To get to know me. To understand me. To understand our differences and realize we have similarities.You are a smart independent woman.

Sincerely,
N

Breaking Barriers, Keeping Relationships strong

Rules to live by:

Respect your elders.
Your mother-in-law has more rights over your husband than you do.
Be respectful to others, you will get respect in return.

Anger shadows other emotions. Talk it out before it becomes a burden.
Do not be jealous of others.
Do not compare yourself to others.
Realize you are only you, you cannot be someone else better stronger taller longer just you.

When you find fault in others, there may be faults in you.
Do not break ties with family.
Be kind to your neighbors.
Give neighbors their rights, including being helpful and keeping your door open - literally and metaphorically - to allow others to ask you for help.
Those who get over anger (human weakness) within three days, and greet the one whom they are angry with with salam or peace will be rewarded.
Those who reject peace, and greetings, will be punished.

God answers all questions if you're looking for the answers. And believe.

Everyone is different. Build on the strengths of those differences.
Treat each other with kindness and it will ease the paths of misunderstandings.

Never assume.
Never accuse.
Never be brutal.

In the end we will all have to face God for our actions.

Michelle Obama, Day of Judgment

I nearly fainted before First Lady Michelle Obama walked out onto the stage at Adams Field, at Wayne State University yesterday.

Literally.

It was estimated 5,000 people were waiting for Mrs. Obama to show up. We waited since 8 a.m. The guest of honor did not arrive until a little after 11 a.m.

It was blazing outside. The temperature lingered around 80 degrees.

I noticed the EMS hustling through the crowd four times. The Detroit News reported eight heat-related emergencies.

The only thing provided to the crowd was water. Lots of it.

I took my mom along for the historical moment.

Little did I know I needed her there.

As I was standing in the first few rows in front of the stage, my stomach felt tight and my head felt lite.

There she was, my loyal mother pouring water on my head, telling me to sit down and fanning me with my reporter's notebook. What would I do without her?

We made our way out of the crowd to get fresh air.

I saw two babies and one pregnant girl.
 
We returned to a side wall that was close to the front stage. I sat down.

I found another girl propped against the wall.

"Drink a lot of water, people are passing out," I told her.
 
As I sat down, avoiding body heat from the thousands who had gathered for Michelle Obama, I thought about the Day of Judgment.

It's going to be blazing.

Everyone will be waiting...

There will be no escape and truith will prevail.

What a scary reminder on a historical day.

Arizona!

For 99 cents you can sip on a cool green tea with ginseng (something you would've otherwise not have tried), orange and green tea, or even lemonade iced tea.

You probably didn't even know it was good for you.

Green tea helps people with everything from headaches to losing weight. According to an article "The Miracle of Green Tea," the Chinese have been using this tea for medicinal uses for over 4,000 years.

http://chinesefood.about.com/library/weekly/aa011400a.htm

Pomegranate, a beautiful red fruit with compartments of red-ruby looking pulps, is good for: fighting breast cancer, slowing prostrate cancer, prevents osteoarthritis, lowering cholesterol, and even prevents plaque build-up (who would've known?).

http://www.healthdiaries.com/eatthis/11-health-benefits-of-pomegranate-juice.html

I remember on 80 degree summer days, I used to walk 4 blocks for a fresh cool taste of Arizona drinks. I didn't mind spending 99 cents on a can, double the size of a coke can, that could easily fill into 2 1/2 8 oz. glasses.

Yum.

My favorite flavors are watermelon and fruit punch. Oh and I love strawberry kiwi too!

After looking at the Arizona company's website, www.drinkarizona.com, I was hynotized by the beautiful spread - mimicking the green tea and gensung bottle design. It's a beautiful green design with pink-brushed flowers, all too much of a coincidence to remind you of the Asian touch on the bottle.

Some of the more expensive bottles, which can be picked up at classier restaurants, including La Pita in Detroit, for $2.95, including the pomegranate green tea drink.

The great thing about Arizona drinks are, its an American drink with an Asian feel and exotic tastes that arouse your taste buds.

The company says their secret to success is their great taste, nice designs, inexpensive price, larger quantity of juice, real ingredients and less money wasted on competitive business ads. They also said, "We make stuff we'd want to drink ourselves."

Drink Arizona!!

www.drinkarizona.com

Arranged marriage & misconceptions

After a recent conversation with one of my childhood friends, I realized how short life is.
So short that decisions should be made quickly. Not slowly, over time.

They should encompass what you believe in. Not what you detest.

Just two years ago, my husband and I were wed by an arranged marriage. I know a friend who said she'd rather say, "we met through friends," than say "we had an arranged marriage" to avoid rolling eyes and gasps.

I rather tell it like how it is, to clear up the misconceptions of "most" arranged marriages that take place.

Misconception list (in bold) and corrections
a. People get forced by parents to marry a stranger. They are usually not by force. Many arranged marriages are with "someone who knows someone through the family" aka kids of mutual friends or community members.
b. The guy is not 40, the girl is not 12. The age difference among spouses is roughly between 0-10 years apart, in the Bangladeshi culture.
c. They do end up falling in love. In the Quran Allah says "He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put Love and mercy between your (hearts), verily in that are signs for those who reflect (30:21)." Basically love comes with the package.
d. It's not always miserable til the end. In fact, the marriage lasts longer. Multiple analysis have been done, showing arranged marriages last longer than "love marriages" or ones in which both partners chose one another since the marriage is based on compatibility; virtue, attraction, status, and/or family background.
e. People in arranged marriages do not get divorced. The Muslim divorce rate is at 33 percent according to "Blissful Marriage" by Ekram Beshir and Mohamed Beshir. The US divorce rate is 50 percent.
f. People in arranged marriages are not happy. Happiness is fixated with compatibility, making the couple work harder to keep the marriage going than resort to divorce. Divorce is the least acceptable deed to do in Islam. In a hadith it says, when people get divorced on earth, the seven heavens shake.
g. Arranged marriages are oppressive. Forced marriages are not allowed in Islam. While women are to take care of the home and men are to provide financially for the family, there are many rules in-between that allow both spouses to grow independently. At the same time, women are given the freedom to spend their money as they wish and/or to support family but they are to be taken care of rather than work on top of taking care of the kids (what the guys always shy away from doing anyways). Knowing who does what helps decrease the strain on relationships.

'Do Not Break Family Ties'

Family, it's what binds us and holds us together.

Like glue, things get sticky.
Like rocks, family can hurt us.
And like paper, sometimes family is flimsy.

But family is the single most important function of our life.
We need parents, or we're orphans.
We need guidance.

Psychologists Kolb and Cavanaugh in Human Development 3rd Edition say when a mother passes away, her function of keeping peace between her children also fades. Children feel a loss of guidance and have a hard time getting along with siblings.

Children.
Children are a sense of joy. For those who have many, it can be stressful to maintain order however they are the light of our eyes.