God says that humankind are all related to one another - humanity - since the beginning of time.
Not only are we required to help one another at all times, we are encouraged to fulfill our rights towards other Muslims and people, without expecting a thank you or a favor in return.
With that said, I have been tutoring two young boys for the past 2-3 months.
The kids are new from Bangladesh and I knew tutoring them would require patience and translating from English to Bangla. Of two brothers showed up one day asking for help understanding his homework assignment. My husband and brother-in-law took a stab about 7th grade math and soon I was assigned to find answers for the kids. I ran to the computer for online assistance.
At fist I wasn't up for tutoring the boys. Then my sister-in-law said it's rewarding to help these kids. I started helping them in search of rewards.
Visits were fairly short. I had nothing better to do. Helping them would keep my mind from wandering off into "nothingness and boredom."
Later on the visits got longer, and repetitive. I started getting frustrated as my list of to-do's also piled up.
My hungry newborn cries during meetings. Now for the past couple of times when I didn't want to, or couldn't help the boys out because I either wasn't home or had something to do, I wasn't able to say no. When I wasn't home I had to keep explaining I'm not home or wouldn't be home for a while.
Yesterday my husband told the boys we were going out. I talked to them and said the same. They asked me when I'd be coming home. I said late. They asked when.
Yeah, sigh.
Today I didn't want to tutor them. I reasoned with myself that I had a legitimate reason to say no; I wasn't going to be home for a bit and may go out again later. But I didn't get out a second time. Bit that's not a REAL excuse. I could've told them to call and come over later.
I didn't let them come.
My husband came home from work, inquired about them, and asked me to call and check on them to see if they got their homework done -- around 9:30 p.m. One of the boys sounded gloomy and draggy about having to do his homework on his own.
It's not their fault, they don't understand the directions. However while helping with directions, I end up re-teaching the lessons, or surfing the net for more info. Time killers.
At times I try to explain HOW to do the homework. When I'm in a rush I explain but sometimes search for answers. I have to teach them how to look for answers in standard situations.
Today I just didn't want to tutor them. I wanted to spend that time working on my paper. I didn't. I spent time with my husband instead. I gave him his dinner, made him tea, and chatted about credit cards.
At the end of the day I learned that when I'm not really busy, might as well help the boys to get the rewards rather than waste time. I also need to be more straightfoward and say no when I can't tutor them.
May Allah help them and reward our efforts, Inshallah.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
Recipe: Fried white rice (Fulaw)
Fulaw is a special dish prepared for lunch and dinner invitations. It is usually served at all special occasions; weddings, dawaths, parties, etc. It is given to guests, along with additional white rice for additional dishes. Served with meats and poultry.
May have some mistakes, feel free to correct. Haven't perfected this one yet!
Ingredients
7 cups of Basmatti or white rice (serves 10-14)
3/4 tspn of ghee or butter
6 Indian green chili peppers
5 tez fatha
2 Cinnamon sticks, crushed
5-6 ilais
1-1 1/2 tspn salt
1 cup vegetable oil
2 1/2 onions, finely chopped
3+ cups of water
Large steel pot
1 yard of foil
Preparation
* Chop onions
* Wash rice and leave out on counter for 10 minutes in strainer
* Wash ingredients
Directions
1. Pre-heat stove on low-medium
2. Add oil, onions, salt
3. Add Cinnamon, tez fatha, peppers
4. Mix occasionally every 2-3 minutes, for 10 minutes
5. Add rice when onions are half-way cooked
6. Mix every 1-2 minutes for 15 minutes.
Don't let rice stick to bottom of pot.
7. Add ghee/ butter after 5 minutes of rice stirring. (optional for flavoring)
8. Add water when all rice is fried.
Frist add 3 cups of water. Check water level, add water according to approximation; should be about 1 1/2 inches above settled rice.
9. Stir ingredients.
10. Stick in oven on 350 degrees for 10 minutes. Cover with foil and a lid.
11. Take out of oven and stir well.
12. Place rice back in oven for another 5-10 minutes, depending on if rice is cooked.
13. Check to see rice is fluffy and not too watery or dry.
14. Taste for salt.
15. Enjoy!
Add a little flavor!
Serve hot with tandoori chicken, chicken and potatoes dish, or fried fish.
Refrigerate left-overs. Will stay good for 3-4 days.
May have some mistakes, feel free to correct. Haven't perfected this one yet!
Ingredients
7 cups of Basmatti or white rice (serves 10-14)
3/4 tspn of ghee or butter
6 Indian green chili peppers
5 tez fatha
2 Cinnamon sticks, crushed
5-6 ilais
1-1 1/2 tspn salt
1 cup vegetable oil
2 1/2 onions, finely chopped
3+ cups of water
Large steel pot
1 yard of foil
Preparation
* Chop onions
* Wash rice and leave out on counter for 10 minutes in strainer
* Wash ingredients
Directions
1. Pre-heat stove on low-medium
2. Add oil, onions, salt
3. Add Cinnamon, tez fatha, peppers
4. Mix occasionally every 2-3 minutes, for 10 minutes
5. Add rice when onions are half-way cooked
6. Mix every 1-2 minutes for 15 minutes.
Don't let rice stick to bottom of pot.
7. Add ghee/ butter after 5 minutes of rice stirring. (optional for flavoring)
8. Add water when all rice is fried.
Frist add 3 cups of water. Check water level, add water according to approximation; should be about 1 1/2 inches above settled rice.
9. Stir ingredients.
10. Stick in oven on 350 degrees for 10 minutes. Cover with foil and a lid.
11. Take out of oven and stir well.
12. Place rice back in oven for another 5-10 minutes, depending on if rice is cooked.
13. Check to see rice is fluffy and not too watery or dry.
14. Taste for salt.
15. Enjoy!
Add a little flavor!
Serve hot with tandoori chicken, chicken and potatoes dish, or fried fish.
Refrigerate left-overs. Will stay good for 3-4 days.
Recipes: Spinach with Potatoes & Tuna (Shaag biran)
I've decided to keep a weekly posting on recipes I made during the week. Sometimes more than once a week, to keep track of yummy and necessary food recipes.
More for me than you ;-)
Enjoy and feel free to add suggestions for change.
Spinach with Potatoes & Tuna (Shaag)
Ingredients
1 small sandwich size ziploc bag of pre-boiled spinach (shaag)or 2 bags of fresh spinach leaves; chopped thin
1-2 potatoes, chopped into small cubes or long thin slices
1 medium-sized onion, sliced and chopped
1/2 tspn turmeric
1/2 chilli pepper
1 tspn salt
1 can of tuna; white or red
[You can use any fish if you don't like tuna.
Take out bones and shred into small pieces.]
4 tspns of vegetable oil
1 handful of cilantro (optional)
4 green chilli peppers, Indian kind (optional)
Preparation
* Leave spinach out for 30 -40 minutes or defrost on high for 3 minutes.
* If you have fresh spinach, chop into thin pieces
* Spices
* Chop onions
* Peel and chop potatoes
Directions
1. Low-heat pot and drizzle oil on bottom. Oil should cover 3/4 of pot.
2. Add onions and stir occasionally for 3-5 minutes
3. Add turmeric, salt, chili and peppers (optional).
4. Wait for onions to cook a little, approx. 5 minutes
5. Add potatoes, cover pot and put stove on low-medium heat.
Check every few minutes, stir. Cook for 10 minutes.
6. Add can of tuna. Mix and cook for 5 minutes.
7. Add spinach into mix. Cook for 5 minutes
8. Add cilantro, mix and turn off stove.
9. Enjoy!
Add some flavor!
Tastes well with white rice, green chili peppers, and a slice of lemon :)
More for me than you ;-)
Enjoy and feel free to add suggestions for change.
Spinach with Potatoes & Tuna (Shaag)
Ingredients
1 small sandwich size ziploc bag of pre-boiled spinach (shaag)or 2 bags of fresh spinach leaves; chopped thin
1-2 potatoes, chopped into small cubes or long thin slices
1 medium-sized onion, sliced and chopped
1/2 tspn turmeric
1/2 chilli pepper
1 tspn salt
1 can of tuna; white or red
[You can use any fish if you don't like tuna.
Take out bones and shred into small pieces.]
4 tspns of vegetable oil
1 handful of cilantro (optional)
4 green chilli peppers, Indian kind (optional)
Preparation
* Leave spinach out for 30 -40 minutes or defrost on high for 3 minutes.
* If you have fresh spinach, chop into thin pieces
* Spices
* Chop onions
* Peel and chop potatoes
Directions
1. Low-heat pot and drizzle oil on bottom. Oil should cover 3/4 of pot.
2. Add onions and stir occasionally for 3-5 minutes
3. Add turmeric, salt, chili and peppers (optional).
4. Wait for onions to cook a little, approx. 5 minutes
5. Add potatoes, cover pot and put stove on low-medium heat.
Check every few minutes, stir. Cook for 10 minutes.
6. Add can of tuna. Mix and cook for 5 minutes.
7. Add spinach into mix. Cook for 5 minutes
8. Add cilantro, mix and turn off stove.
9. Enjoy!
Add some flavor!
Tastes well with white rice, green chili peppers, and a slice of lemon :)
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Friends or Family?
Growing up in a family which showed tough love, I often thought of my friends as my escape, my responsibility and the closest thing to my family.
We have aunts and uncles but it seemed so different then, when we were teenagers and we were lost with words when it came to relatives.
The conversations went like this:
Assalam Walaikum ___________.
How are you? Good.
How's school going? Good.
(long pause and boredness)
Eat eat. Come eat.
(another long silence)
Okay, goodnight. Come over.
The End.
Thanks to my understanding patient parents, I enjoyed the company of my friends. I went where I wanted, many times with my parents dropping us off to make sure we didn't wander off. Other times as I got older and "knew better" I was able to let them know where I was going and spend time with my girls.
Now it's different.
I never understood the meaning of family until I got married.
I was telling my husband yesterday, "You know the things I don't get, now I get them thanks to you...you know the family cultural expectations and formalities. I'm not that smart when it comes to that stuff, but you are. That's why my parents got me married to you."
He politely and modestly declined the compliment - but it's true.
I remember debating how my father and I would settle on one guy. God showed it was possible in the form of a man man who was raised here but still carried on his cultural roots and maintained a professional American life.
His family also puts a huge importance on family.
The opposite was true for me. I didn't expect or see my family every week. We made family get-to-gethers occasional and special. My siblings and I would debate if we wanted to go to relatives houses' depending on the duration of the visit. Sometimes we had legitimate reasons, other times we just didn't know how to fill the silence.
Alhamdulillah as I grew older and slowly understood the importance of family and realized the value family relations are given in the Quran, I put in more effort.
"Blood relations are closer to one another in the Book of Allah. Allah has knowledge of all things. (8:75)"
Even though it was often hard to talk to some family members, fearing God I would try to break the silence.
"You who believe! Be upholders of justice, bearing witness for Allah alone, even against yourselves or your parents and relatives. Whether they are rich or poor, Allah is well able to look after them. Do not follow your own desires and deviate from the truth. If you twist or turn away, Allah is aware of what you do. (4:135)"
God says those who break ties with their families are cursed.
"But if you held command, you were sure to make mischief in the land and cut off the ties of kinship. Those it is whom Allah has cursed, so He has made them deaf and blinded their eyes. (Surah Muhammad 22-23)"
Similarly Prophet Muhammad (sws) said the 2nd worst deeds one can do is server ties with family.
A man approached the Holy Prophet (S) and enquired, “What is the worst deed in the eyes of Allah?”
The Holy Prophet (S) replied,
“To attribute partners to Allah.”
The man then asked, “After this which is the worst sin?”
The Holy Prophet (S) said:
“To sever relations”.
After this the same person asked, “After this which is the worst sin?”
The Holy Prophet (S) replied:
“To enjoin the evil and to forbid the good (deeds).”
(al-Kāfi)
On the other hand, I miss my friends.
I spend about 5 percent of my time with friends. I go to get-togethers once in a while, simultaneously worrying about the family I'm leaving behind at home.
As my friend Ruma often says, "You'll get used to it," when I tell her about new experiences.
Alhamdulillah, I'm so grateful for my friends and family.
"The friends shall on that day (of judgment) be enemies of each other except those who guard against evil.(Zukhruf:67)"
What is gaurding evil? Friends and family who are God-fearing:
"The men and women from among the believers are friends of each other. They call the people towards goodness and piety and abstain from evil and transgression. They uphold the prayer, pay the poor-rate (zakaat) and obey Allah and His Prophet (s.a.w.s.). Indeed, these are the ones for whom Allah shall soon manifest His mercy and grace. Verily Allah is all-powerful, and the most wise.(Al Imran:71)"
We will be raised with those whom we love. It's not about chosing between friends or family. We need both. Therefore let us be the best to them and let them be the best to us, Inshallah.
(Picture from countryclipart.com)
We have aunts and uncles but it seemed so different then, when we were teenagers and we were lost with words when it came to relatives.
The conversations went like this:
Assalam Walaikum ___________.
How are you? Good.
How's school going? Good.
(long pause and boredness)
Eat eat. Come eat.
(another long silence)
Okay, goodnight. Come over.
The End.
Thanks to my understanding patient parents, I enjoyed the company of my friends. I went where I wanted, many times with my parents dropping us off to make sure we didn't wander off. Other times as I got older and "knew better" I was able to let them know where I was going and spend time with my girls.
Now it's different.
I never understood the meaning of family until I got married.
I was telling my husband yesterday, "You know the things I don't get, now I get them thanks to you...you know the family cultural expectations and formalities. I'm not that smart when it comes to that stuff, but you are. That's why my parents got me married to you."
He politely and modestly declined the compliment - but it's true.
I remember debating how my father and I would settle on one guy. God showed it was possible in the form of a man man who was raised here but still carried on his cultural roots and maintained a professional American life.
His family also puts a huge importance on family.
The opposite was true for me. I didn't expect or see my family every week. We made family get-to-gethers occasional and special. My siblings and I would debate if we wanted to go to relatives houses' depending on the duration of the visit. Sometimes we had legitimate reasons, other times we just didn't know how to fill the silence.
Alhamdulillah as I grew older and slowly understood the importance of family and realized the value family relations are given in the Quran, I put in more effort.
"Blood relations are closer to one another in the Book of Allah. Allah has knowledge of all things. (8:75)"
Even though it was often hard to talk to some family members, fearing God I would try to break the silence.
"You who believe! Be upholders of justice, bearing witness for Allah alone, even against yourselves or your parents and relatives. Whether they are rich or poor, Allah is well able to look after them. Do not follow your own desires and deviate from the truth. If you twist or turn away, Allah is aware of what you do. (4:135)"
God says those who break ties with their families are cursed.
"But if you held command, you were sure to make mischief in the land and cut off the ties of kinship. Those it is whom Allah has cursed, so He has made them deaf and blinded their eyes. (Surah Muhammad 22-23)"
Similarly Prophet Muhammad (sws) said the 2nd worst deeds one can do is server ties with family.
A man approached the Holy Prophet (S) and enquired, “What is the worst deed in the eyes of Allah?”
The Holy Prophet (S) replied,
“To attribute partners to Allah.”
The man then asked, “After this which is the worst sin?”
The Holy Prophet (S) said:
“To sever relations”.
After this the same person asked, “After this which is the worst sin?”
The Holy Prophet (S) replied:
“To enjoin the evil and to forbid the good (deeds).”
(al-Kāfi)
On the other hand, I miss my friends.
I spend about 5 percent of my time with friends. I go to get-togethers once in a while, simultaneously worrying about the family I'm leaving behind at home.
As my friend Ruma often says, "You'll get used to it," when I tell her about new experiences.
Alhamdulillah, I'm so grateful for my friends and family.
"The friends shall on that day (of judgment) be enemies of each other except those who guard against evil.(Zukhruf:67)"
What is gaurding evil? Friends and family who are God-fearing:
"The men and women from among the believers are friends of each other. They call the people towards goodness and piety and abstain from evil and transgression. They uphold the prayer, pay the poor-rate (zakaat) and obey Allah and His Prophet (s.a.w.s.). Indeed, these are the ones for whom Allah shall soon manifest His mercy and grace. Verily Allah is all-powerful, and the most wise.(Al Imran:71)"
We will be raised with those whom we love. It's not about chosing between friends or family. We need both. Therefore let us be the best to them and let them be the best to us, Inshallah.
(Picture from countryclipart.com)
Friday, November 13, 2009
The things that replace us, and them.
Women crave compliments, attention and communication with their husbands. Instead they're replaced with the TV, web surfing, other relatives or their kids. Similarly men are replaced with Facebook, Twitter and other Internet social networks, by women.
What would we do without our "replacements?"
What would happen if we didn't have access to those outlets? Well, we'd go crazy of course.
For men, it's unwinding after a long day at work. Small things count. Men still enjoy getting hot-and-ready food the moment they come home from a long day at work and the 15-minute company while they're divulging their meal.
Women don't mind being "replaced" as long as men are pretending to listen or throw in a couple of "yes, sure" or nods in agreement to what they're saying. A hug or compliment can help after a long day without their attention :)
These are the links that keep us bonded. They help us fulfill our duties.
In the Quran God says, "They are your garments and ye are their garments, (2:187)" referring to an analogy that clothes cover our imperfections and so do husbands and wives.
What would we do without our social networks? What would they do without TV?
We'd drive each other nuts.
May God guide and protect us. May He help us fulfill our duties towards our spouses.
P.S. An interesting article regarding protecting marriage against friends online.
"Is Facebook a Cyber-Threat to your Marriage?"
http://marriagejunkie.com/2009/01/22/is-facebook-a-cyber-threat-to-your-marriage/
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Beautiful smily baby <3
As much as kids can frustrate mothers, they can just as much - make you laugh!
I've been waiting for the moment when baby would smile in response to human interaction rather than happy dreams. It finally happened.
It al started when I received a lovely short message from a childhood friend. She said, "Give that beautiful baby a kiss for me and tell him it's from a silly aunt he hasn't met yet."
And I did just that.
And he smiled! It was sooo wonderful :)
Flashback to about a half an hour ago - I was really frustrated as I was trying to write a 500-word essay for a scholarship due at 12 a.m. (by November 6) and baby started crying as babys do. I put him on the bed next to his father who was sleeping. After realizing the baby was hungry, my husband asked me nicely to feed him. I was frustrated but realized the internship was not more important than my hungry baby.
When he smiled it was the most precious moment. It made up for the craziness.
Beautiful lovely baby <3
Truly a gift from God.
P.S. He's snoozing on my lap now :)
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Exams, Health and Stress
Quizzes/Exams:
Have to catch up on two quizzes for my online Descriptive Astronomy class. Although it's not hard, there's plenty of work to do to get four credits. If I study the vocab, the quiz may reflect the PowerPoints. If I study the PowerPoints, the quiz may be from the vocab.
Exam #2 becomes available on Sunday. Didn't do so hot on the first one. Need to hustle and study. There's so much going on it's hard to concentrate, not that I ever can fully concentrate.
I am also taking the Dow Jones editing exam tomorrow, an exam to get a paid copy editing internship in a major city. The internships are not available in Detroit, however knowing if I passed will give me a good idea of my capabilities in copy editing.
Copy editors are the people who check articles before they go in print. They look for things like grammar, spelling, factual or logical errors, and take out unnecessary words.
Although I'm studying print journalism, there is money and jobs open in copy editing. I enjoy editing and did well in News Editing class.
Health:
Father-in-law went for a check-up at the doctors on Monday. Last Monday he had an ultrasound on his upper body. Monday the family doctor sent him to the emergency upon seeing him.
My father-in-law has bad asthma. He has to get his lungs cleaned out - they're filled with water and mucus.
The hospital doctor yesterday said my father-in-law had a minor heart attack before he got to the hospital. He's in severe pain today. I'm planning to go visit later today.
Stress:
With a baby, messy room, two quizzes and two exams to study for, I'm feeling the stress. I wonder what's going to happen when I get back to school. Don't think I'll be sleeping much.
Keep me in your duas (prayers), I'll be needing them.
Have to catch up on two quizzes for my online Descriptive Astronomy class. Although it's not hard, there's plenty of work to do to get four credits. If I study the vocab, the quiz may reflect the PowerPoints. If I study the PowerPoints, the quiz may be from the vocab.
Exam #2 becomes available on Sunday. Didn't do so hot on the first one. Need to hustle and study. There's so much going on it's hard to concentrate, not that I ever can fully concentrate.
I am also taking the Dow Jones editing exam tomorrow, an exam to get a paid copy editing internship in a major city. The internships are not available in Detroit, however knowing if I passed will give me a good idea of my capabilities in copy editing.
Copy editors are the people who check articles before they go in print. They look for things like grammar, spelling, factual or logical errors, and take out unnecessary words.
Although I'm studying print journalism, there is money and jobs open in copy editing. I enjoy editing and did well in News Editing class.
Health:
Father-in-law went for a check-up at the doctors on Monday. Last Monday he had an ultrasound on his upper body. Monday the family doctor sent him to the emergency upon seeing him.
My father-in-law has bad asthma. He has to get his lungs cleaned out - they're filled with water and mucus.
The hospital doctor yesterday said my father-in-law had a minor heart attack before he got to the hospital. He's in severe pain today. I'm planning to go visit later today.
Stress:
With a baby, messy room, two quizzes and two exams to study for, I'm feeling the stress. I wonder what's going to happen when I get back to school. Don't think I'll be sleeping much.
Keep me in your duas (prayers), I'll be needing them.
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