Self-awareness goes a long way

Inna nillahi wa inna illahir rajeeon.

With the latest death that swept through the Bangladeshi community, it's needless to say women need to be careful.

For a little background, a 25-year-old woman was stabbed to death by her husband.

Shockingly this is not a shock, as it is taboo for women to get help or sometimes to get out of abusive relationships.

Police say a call in June to the couple's home did not reveal physical abuse. However, our community is so hush-hush about getting problems solved between couples that often times even when the police are called, the whole truth does not come out.

Culturally people will often tell their daughters or even daughter-in-laws to be patient, leave it to God, keep praying and hope things will get better.

In Islam women are legally allowed to get out of relationships that are abusive. They have that right.

Culture often robs women of their rights, sometimes for the sake of their children, and Islam grants amenity from poor treatment. In such cases divorce is better than taking one's life - even one's own life. Do the lesser evil. Divorce is one of the most disliked allowed things in Islam.

Read the details. Know your rights. Stand up for yourself.

If a man yells, he will yell again. If he hits his wife once, he will hit her again. The family, especially mahram men from the women's side need to take a stand at that time and protect her. That's what they are there for. Put the man in check from the get-go. Know he has no right to hurt his wife.

Same for women. Women can be abusive too.

Get out. Get help. Call the cops. Keep records.

Every incident cannot be prevented, but one must try to help themselves before they are helped. Keeping records will provide evidence and protection.

And, do pray. Do make dua. Do ask God for help. He is the ultimate Protector.
Not everything can be solved through family, negotiations and paperwork.

No one is allowed to oppressed. If someone being oppressed asks God for help, He will send help even if they are not Muslim.

Similarly it is our right upon other Muslims to help those who are oppressed, and to stop people from oppressing others.

Hadith on Oppression:

Narrated ‘Abdullah bin Umar:

Allah’s Apostle said, “A Muslim is a brother of another Muslim, so he should not oppress him, nor should he hand him over to an oppressor. Whoever fulfilled the needs of his brother, Allah will fulfill his needs; whoever brought his (Muslim) brother out of a discomfort, Allah will bring him out of the discomforts of the Day of Resurrection, and whoever screened a Muslim, Allah will screen him on the Day of Resurrection .”{Book 43, Volume 3, Number 622: Sahih Buhari}

Narrated Umar ibn al-Khattab:

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: the same occasion: Help the oppressed (sorrowful) and guide those who have lost their way.{Book 41, Number 4799: Sunan Abu-Dawud}

Narrated Abu Huraira:

Allah’s Apostle said, “Whoever has oppressed another person concerning his reputation or anything else, he should beg him to forgive him before the Day of Resurrection when there will be no money (to compensate for wrong deeds), but if he has good deeds, those good deeds will be taken from him according to his oppression which he has done, and if he has no good deeds, the sins of the oppressed person will be loaded on him.” {Volume 3, Book 43, Number 629: Sahih Bukhari}.

- May God protect us all from oppression.

Ramadan drop-by

Haven't been dishing out any writing on here.
Trying to keep myself busy and productive. However, I am online doing some research and needing a post-midnight snack.

Subhanallah life is flying past and on the Day of Judgement we'll think we were on earth for only a day or two.

Well - Happy Ramadan. Hope everyone's fasts, prayers, duas and ibadah are accepted.

3 Random Interesting facts about Ramadan:

1. For every person who fasts with the hope of being rewarded, their sins are forgiven.
2. Rewards are multiplied, as voluntary acts are counted as obligatory acts. All deeds are rewarded 10-70xs more, except fasting which is rewarded individually and immeasurably.
3. There is a special gate in heaven labeled Al-Raiyan for fasters.

Like fire, like water.

Patience is like the water which
Washes away fire

It's like the ocean tide that brings the turtles home
On the sea shore

Patience is the swift breeze
That brings calmness and serenity

It's the tongue that holds the cries
The tears that wipe the eyes

The fallout of a century
And the rise of another

The whisper of a dove
Hushing the scarecrow

The wisdom of the wise
Our generations despise

What do we have to account for
What do we have to reply for

Fallen but standing strong and firm
Let not the fire make me burn.

Walk a little faster.

Walk a little faster,
Drive a little slower.

Watch as your days fly by,
Leave you in a heaving sigh sigh.

The things you took for granted,
The more they are wanted.

The things you forget day to night,
Now becomes a reason for your plight.

Trying to catch a breath;
One, two, three steps.

Time will leave you behind,
There's no stopping to hit rewind.

"...you will think that you have stayed [in this world] but a little while! (17:52)"

I drove the wrong way to work!

And among His Signs, He shows you the lightning, by way both of fear and of hope...
(30:24)."

Subhanallah today I got lost on the way to work. I usually take Lodge N to get to work and Lodge S to get to school.

I just finished dropping my nephew off to the masjid for Quran lessons, as I reminded him to recite his car prayers (duas). I was explaining some duas are accepted right away and act as a shield while others are accepted when you need them. And the car prayer was one that acted as a shield.

So I'm on Lodge and usually I make a conscious decision whether to steer left or right, and this time I didn't. I was driving and ended up on the wrong side of the highway.

I kept repeating the car prayer. I felt like it wasn't working to its full strength this morning. Like I wasn't saying it right or wasn't putting the right umph nor intention into it. And suddenly I thought about Surah Al-Fathihah, Chapter 1 from the Quran. I began reciting in and thought about the meaning of the Surah -- the part where it says, "Oh God put me on the straight path."

And then it hit me.

I was going the wrong way!

I was approximately three minutes from exiting the highway. I took the usual left to get to school and then headed north. I called my boss at my internship and told him about the situation, laughing when he asked how did it happen.

"I don't know it was an accident. I realized it when I was three minutes away from the exit," I said.

Of course some may think of this as a mere coincidence but perhaps its a testament of increasing faith. How could I magically be put on the "right way" after thinking about that particular verse from the Quran..."put me on the straight path."

And He literally did. Subhanallah.



Surah 1. Al-Fatiha (The Opening)In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

1. Praise be to Allah, the Cherisher and Sustainer of the worlds;

2. Most Gracious, Most Merciful;

3. Master of the Day of Judgment.

4. Thee do we worship, and Thine aid we seek.

5. Show us the straight way,

6. The way of those on whom Thou hast bestowed Thy Grace,

7 those whose (portion) is not wrath, and who go not astray.

Test of faith, patience

Those who are in the right suffer,
Those who are in the wrong usually get away with stuff.

It's sad but it's true.

However Allah has created the heavens surrounded with hardships and the hellfire with ease and desire. Therefore although "bad things happen to good people" it's all a test of faith.

When you know you're right and you don't say anything it goes a long way.
There are times when you should defend yourself and other times when its better not to say anything at all.

Alhamdulillah, thanks to faith, we are being saved from a lot more agony, Inshallah.

Be mindful of the circumstances, patient and quiet when you have every right to say something. Allah will give you something better in return Inshallah.

But not talking back at the moment, then talking behind someone's back defeats the purpose - and makes you lose your blessings.

Patience is the key to success. Oh Allah increase our patience. Ameen.

Muslim Bride.

Being Muslim puts pressure on brides who want to doll up during their wedding but also have to conscious of religious requirements for covering.

I've seen many styles of wearing hijab with few strands of hair showing, none at all, or some with other parts showing - which make up for the hair not showing. It's not as easy as it seems.

With Arab brides, at least their weddings are seperate but they have to go through painstaking detail to find female photographers, halls that make special accomodations, all-female waitresses, and etc. (Unless they don't care).

And desi brides have to show their jewelry or else it seems like they didn't get any gold, which is part of their dowry. Now-a-days not all brides wear their gold during their wedding ceremony but rather wear imitation jewelry. Either way the bling has to show.

So the hijabi bride wins.