Busy.

FYI in case you're wondering where I've disappeared.

List of things to do:

3 book reports
1 major 2,500 word feauture profile
read, read, read
internship reports
design community newsletter
complete online course
take language requirement test
complete independent study
triple re-edit religious report on local communities

charge phone and call M before she beats me with a jarooo

Playing with Fire.

Would you let your kids play with matches?
Then why let them play with fire?

Why not hold them back from sinning?
From eating forbidden food and random chilling.

Do you think it's any different?
Do you think they are not worth it?

Are your children no longer in need of your advice?
Does their own judgment suffice?

How can we turn the other way when...
Sins are burdening the backs of our children.

Picture: undergroundshack.wordpress.com

Faith Rush

It's been days since I've been away and pretending to be the housewife.
I need a rush of faith and it's about time I've made time for that.
I can't help but make excuses over and over again.
Why I can't flake out 1-2 hours on a particular day for my faith rush.
 

It's been more than nine months since I've gone to the "Saturday halaqa" at "Sr. Amina's house."
Halaqa means a get-together to talk about Islam.
For example, we talk about how to become a better Muslim by honoring and respecting your parents, being honest, and how to be sincere in your actions.

We don't say, "You should do GOOD things. You shouldn't do BAD things. The End. Go home."

Seriously.

After doing a little bit of self reflection, I thought about some of the characteristics I'm trying to improve in myself. I know of two off the top of my head that can be worked on. But I do realize I'm human and need somewhere to feed into that reminder.

I can make 100 excuses of why I can't do something. I can blame people. I can accept failure. But why not be proactive?

Before I got married (excuse #1 for not being able to "do anything") and had a kid (excuse #2) I made a commitment to attend as many Islamic lectures as possible. So that included weekly Muslim Students Association 30-45 min. lectures at the college library, the Saturday program, a Sunday program (which I now coordinate) and sometimes combined men-woman halaqas at school. At the time I was also taking a class about Prophet Muhammad's life.

That's what got me motivated.

There was so much to learn! (And so little time.)

But now I'm busier than ever, If I want to be.

For example I could wait for cooking and cleaning instructions, and to feed my baby the last minute and not pray exactly on time so then I can't get out last minute for programs. I could also not have a ride, but also not ask anyone to pick/drop me off. I could also take in cultural formalities and try to do all the housework and wait on people to finish what they're done eating to clean up after them. Or let them do it themselves.

I could also say "Well my husband is home" or "I have to take care of my child" or "I can't leave the house with my elderly in-laws at home" or I can do them in a balanced proportion.

Too much of anything is not good.

Make strong intentions to do good and God will help you attain those goals.

Usually Saturday mornings we have a lot to cook. Today I wanted to go to the Saturday program, which I had been thinking about for the past three days. We didn't have a lot of cooking. I helped. I ate. I prayed and went to program. I did a little bit of everything.

There were no random guests. There were no excuses, no complaints nor was there any ride problems (although I didn't have my own car and did have to get picked up by my awesome father).

I feel motivated. I feel great.

I got my faith rush.

Picture: UH Houston, TX Facebook group

To do...

Do this. Do that.

Take care of your son.
Do your homework.
You must cook.
You must clean often a lot.

Help others.

Spend time with family.
Go out and have fun.

Attend weddings.
Visit the sick.
Accompany/ take family out to visit other family friends.

Do your homework.

Project.
Research.
Homework.

No car.
Baby. Husband.
Myself.

Sleep.
Feel lazy.
Annoyed.
Disappointed.

Waste time.
Prioritize.

Explain everything.
Say nothing.
Rationalize.

Pray, eat, sleep.
Tasks. Chores.
Snores.

Feed the kid.
Eat.
Sleep.
Clean.

You may not like it, but it's good for you.

Allah tests us in many ways.

Sometimes it's "easier" tests. And sometimes it's not.

For example, it's easy to give advice to people we don't know rather than your friends (who will be able to say something back). You also feel a little softer for your friends even if they're doing something unhealthy for their mind body or souls.

It's easier to like/love or hate someone. It's harder to forgive someone (once they hurt you).

Sound familiar? 

Well that's probably why Allah says in the Quran, "But you may dislike something which is good for you, and you may like something which is bad for you. GOD knows while you do not know [2:216]."

We like our bad friends.

We like to do what's fun.

It's easier to do wrong than right.

It's easier to get caught up in materialistic things.

But wait - there's an afterlife. A place where all judgment comes forth.

A place and time when there is no "wrongs" only "truths."

"Surely, falsehood is ever bound to vanish." [Quran17:81]"

Today as I was talking to a dear friend about dating, in terms of haram (forbidden) and halal (acceptable), dating is haram. Everything done with the other person (looking, holding hands, hanging out, etc) is haram outside the union of marriage.

Therefore, I told her how concerned I was for her and only wanted to save her from the hellfire.

I know some people may think I'm crazy to say that (as she even said to me how scary that sounded), I have the duty to say something. I'm afraid I haven't done enough.

But we will be asked.

People only like to hear what they want. People are afraid of reality. Reality is heaven and hell.

Reality is scary.

That's why Allah says in the Quran the heavens are laced with hardships while hell is laced with ease.

Now for some humor...

"You may dislike something which is good for you," (including eating your vegetables), breaking up with a dude, getting married in the first place, waking up early in the morning.

What a wonderful life.

Dear S,

I wish I could tell you about my distress. About how many hours I confide in my child and wonder what he's doing while I'm away.

I wish I could tell you that my parents are my shelter, and I must constantly ask them for help. They take me to my classes, support my education and take care of my baby when I'm away (and they're available).

Maybe I should remind you my education is a big goal in my life. You have completed your education so you would know how important it may be, and how hard it is to make those sacrifices along the way.

You may know I am a journalism student. That means I must attend historical events. That doesn't mean I go to every raging event and everything I can get my hands out, although I should. I try my best. I do most of my work from home.

You may know I leave my child at the care of my in-laws most of the time. Before I "leave him on the bed" I change his diaper, feed him and take care of him most of the time while I'm at home. You won't hear him squeal unless I'm in the kitchen attending to other business.

You may also know that I am American. This in no way limits my thinking abilities and does not impair my judgement call when it comes to doing the right thing. Sure I'm human and I may need reminders along the way. I have my husband for that. He is there to correct me. So are my family. But I have to listen to become better.

I am not perfect. I know I cannot do everything, surely not at once. Sometimes my homework will be more important than housework but that doesn't excuse me from not doing housework.

Sometimes I will want to get out. But I evaluate the situation first.

I don't get to go to my parents house very often but when I do, perhaps once in 1 1/2-2 weeks, I don't sit too long (usually 1-3 hours). That's why I save up my days and times during my vacations and stay for a few days.

I wish you would take the time to talk to me. To get to know me. To understand me. To understand our differences and realize we have similarities.You are a smart independent woman.

Sincerely,
N

Breaking Barriers, Keeping Relationships strong

Rules to live by:

Respect your elders.
Your mother-in-law has more rights over your husband than you do.
Be respectful to others, you will get respect in return.

Anger shadows other emotions. Talk it out before it becomes a burden.
Do not be jealous of others.
Do not compare yourself to others.
Realize you are only you, you cannot be someone else better stronger taller longer just you.

When you find fault in others, there may be faults in you.
Do not break ties with family.
Be kind to your neighbors.
Give neighbors their rights, including being helpful and keeping your door open - literally and metaphorically - to allow others to ask you for help.
Those who get over anger (human weakness) within three days, and greet the one whom they are angry with with salam or peace will be rewarded.
Those who reject peace, and greetings, will be punished.

God answers all questions if you're looking for the answers. And believe.

Everyone is different. Build on the strengths of those differences.
Treat each other with kindness and it will ease the paths of misunderstandings.

Never assume.
Never accuse.
Never be brutal.

In the end we will all have to face God for our actions.