Walking for comfort

I woke up Monday morning and noticed pains, cramping every hour or so. I had a feeling, and a few clues that perhaps I'd be going to the hospital later.

I told my husband as he walked out to go to work, today we may go to the hospital. Just giving you a heads up. He looked uncertain.

The day passed by. I went to look at house (to buy) and spend my next hours in await. I didn't say anything to my mother-in-law, but told my sister-in-law about the "news," my contractions.

According to my OBGYN I was already 3 1/2 cm dilated, 80 percent effaced and baby was sitting low. Baby would be on its way at any moment. So I had been living in fear of my water breaking during the night. And not knowing. Or being at work by myself. My mind was overloaded with paranoia.

At 6 p.m. Monday afternoon, I decided I would go to the hospital even though my contractions were not close enough. I couldn't wait any longer.

I gave my husband dinner, we prayed Isha, the last prayer of the day in Islam, said goodbye to our families and headed to the hospital around 8 p.m.

A month before I had been there...in the same hospital exam room thinking it was time. It wasn't. This time the nurse told me, "You've been here before so you know what to do." Two hours later the doctor said, "You're not quite ready. You have two options. You can walk around the hospital lobby for two hours or go home and come back when you're more comfortable."

I stayed.

I said, "I'm not going to walk around if I go home." I thought to myself, or be more comfortable. I rather not drive back in the middle of the night while baby is coming out.

We grabbed dinner, a subway tuna sandwich, and I started walking.

First I walked in an eerie hallway where there were no people. I couldn't help but think of jinns, spirits. There was the rumbling of machines. Most, if not all, of the doors were locked. A bare nurse station looked like it hadn't been used in months. There were no voices. After a few strolls up and down the hallway, I told my husband we needed a new place to walk.

Downstairs in the main hospital hallway, there was too much traffic. It seemed we were walking past the same people.

Lastly we went to the opposite lobby where the main lights had been turned off. There were a few dim lights. The security guards were no longer sitting at their post. The lobby was empty from visitors or people waiting to inside. The doors were locked from the outside. I could hear a few footsteps off into the distance and an occasional door would open near the women's bathroom. It was the perfect spot.

One side of the lobby was icy cold, the other warm. I circulated from one side to the other. My legs grew tired and slowly were getting "numb."

Toward the end of the 2 1/2 hour walk, I took 5-minute breaks sitting. And then walked some more. My husband couldn't keep his eyes open. He fiddled with his phone to keep himself up. I insisted he take a nap, to save up energy of what could await us later.

Delivery.