Transition from American teen to housewife

I was raised in a home where I didn't see my extended family a lot. And therefore I had a lot of friends, who I would go to with my problems, and to hang out.

And then I got married into a household in which the family are your friends. They are the ones you associate with, sit together at weddings with, talk to and cherish. You hang out with them and go where they go...and you kind of put a halt on the "more American" notion of friends.

In the Bangladeshi culture, even about 30 years ago, girls who were married into the family became part of the servitude and order of the household. They did the cooking, cleaning, childbearing, and entertaining guests of the family. Sometimes that included their own relatives, but hardly any friends.

Women were close to their mother-in-laws by befriending  them or treating them like their own mothers (hopefully with respect).

But there was no need for friends. No need for all-girls hang-outs. No need to hang out with your husband alone. No need to go to the store, the husband could get anything you needed and forget anything you wanted. There was no need to go to parties and weddings. If you couldn't make it, it was all out of the family need.

For example, the family's guests will come over (sometimes unannounced or all-of-a-sudden) and you have to go somewhere. Do you go or stay? For some families this is shameful if the bride leaves the house while guests are over unless it's something important such as going to school/college.

Now this is the dilemma: How do you balance both ends?
For example, if you grew up in America and are not accustomed to the culture, how do you deal with sacrificing invitations, get-togethers and hanging out alone with your friends?

There will also be situations you can't take/ go with your husband, he is not available to chaperon and he is not welcome. At the same time you can't give up your friendships and according to hadiths, you should keep invitations to strengthen relationships. You should also obey your husband. And you should also make them understand.

But should you sacrifice your in-laws for friends? Should you let your friends hang? If you don't have friends should you make new friends (in a new city)?

There is another hadith that says two friends who love each other for the sake of Allah will be protected by Allah's shade on the Day of Judgment when there is no shade. (That mean's we CAN have friends folks).

Something to contemplate.