Self-awareness goes a long way

Inna nillahi wa inna illahir rajeeon.

With the latest death that swept through the Bangladeshi community, it's needless to say women need to be careful.

For a little background, a 25-year-old woman was stabbed to death by her husband.

Shockingly this is not a shock, as it is taboo for women to get help or sometimes to get out of abusive relationships.

Police say a call in June to the couple's home did not reveal physical abuse. However, our community is so hush-hush about getting problems solved between couples that often times even when the police are called, the whole truth does not come out.

Culturally people will often tell their daughters or even daughter-in-laws to be patient, leave it to God, keep praying and hope things will get better.

In Islam women are legally allowed to get out of relationships that are abusive. They have that right.

Culture often robs women of their rights, sometimes for the sake of their children, and Islam grants amenity from poor treatment. In such cases divorce is better than taking one's life - even one's own life. Do the lesser evil. Divorce is one of the most disliked allowed things in Islam.

Read the details. Know your rights. Stand up for yourself.

If a man yells, he will yell again. If he hits his wife once, he will hit her again. The family, especially mahram men from the women's side need to take a stand at that time and protect her. That's what they are there for. Put the man in check from the get-go. Know he has no right to hurt his wife.

Same for women. Women can be abusive too.

Get out. Get help. Call the cops. Keep records.

Every incident cannot be prevented, but one must try to help themselves before they are helped. Keeping records will provide evidence and protection.

And, do pray. Do make dua. Do ask God for help. He is the ultimate Protector.
Not everything can be solved through family, negotiations and paperwork.

No one is allowed to oppressed. If someone being oppressed asks God for help, He will send help even if they are not Muslim.

Similarly it is our right upon other Muslims to help those who are oppressed, and to stop people from oppressing others.

Hadith on Oppression:

Narrated ‘Abdullah bin Umar:

Allah’s Apostle said, “A Muslim is a brother of another Muslim, so he should not oppress him, nor should he hand him over to an oppressor. Whoever fulfilled the needs of his brother, Allah will fulfill his needs; whoever brought his (Muslim) brother out of a discomfort, Allah will bring him out of the discomforts of the Day of Resurrection, and whoever screened a Muslim, Allah will screen him on the Day of Resurrection .”{Book 43, Volume 3, Number 622: Sahih Buhari}

Narrated Umar ibn al-Khattab:

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: the same occasion: Help the oppressed (sorrowful) and guide those who have lost their way.{Book 41, Number 4799: Sunan Abu-Dawud}

Narrated Abu Huraira:

Allah’s Apostle said, “Whoever has oppressed another person concerning his reputation or anything else, he should beg him to forgive him before the Day of Resurrection when there will be no money (to compensate for wrong deeds), but if he has good deeds, those good deeds will be taken from him according to his oppression which he has done, and if he has no good deeds, the sins of the oppressed person will be loaded on him.” {Volume 3, Book 43, Number 629: Sahih Bukhari}.

- May God protect us all from oppression.